Questions we discussed
1. What opportunities do single mothers have?
• They have more freedom to do anything. They organize their own work.
• They have enough time to serve God.
2. What challenges do single mothers face?
• Some of them have limited self-management skills
• Being overwhelmed with raising children and family responsibilities
• Lack of someone to talk to
• Being tempted and manipulated
• Society considers them to be problematic people
• Lack of the right person to marry, even if they want to get married
• Lack of trust in credit institutions because they do not have a husband to sponsor them.
• Their children are rejected by their stepfathers, even if they were initially willing to raise them
• Hiding the fact that they have children so that it is easier to find a partner to marry
• Being content to live alone and have children without being married because they do not know the importance of marriage
• Being pressured by women on the street to get married or have children, even if they do not have a husband to marry.
WHAT DOES GOD'S WORD SAY ABOUT 'SINGLE MOTHERS'
Various reasons can make a mother live alone, such as the death of a husband, abandonment, being cheated on, not recognizing the value of marriage, etc. However, a mother who lives alone can benefit from her situation if she trusts in God. The success of our lives depends on the choices we make. Deuteronomy 30:19 “I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses; therefore choose life, that you and your descendants may live.” I do not like to be interpreted as discouraging couples. Today, I am speaking to single mothers to know that God still recognizes them even if they do not remarry. However, if the opportunity to get married is available, take advantage of it. As long as he is the right husband who is also ready to raise your children and realizes that he is marrying a wife who has lived a married life or had a family.
1. Living alone is a privilege
The apostle Paul says that it is a blessing to live alone without getting married as long as the person can control his desires. Married couples face challenges in their ministry to God because they are responsible for each other in marriage. It is difficult to give God their full attention. She must have the approval of her husband in order to serve God.
1 Cor 7:8,9,32,33 “8 But I say to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them to remain as I am. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 32 But I do not want you to be anxious. The unmarried person is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; 33 but the married person is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife.”
We see the example of Anna serving full-time in the temple because she had no husband to serve her at home.
Luke 2:36, 37 “There was a prophetess named Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was of a great age, and had lived with a husband for seven years since her virginity. And she was a widow of about fourscore and four years, which departed not from the temple, but served God with fastings and prayers night and day.”
My prayer for you: May God enable you to please the Lord and to devote your time to serving Him tirelessly.
2. God cares about single mothers and their children – Eg. Hagar
Hagar was forced to flee into the wilderness when Sarah told Abraham to send her away. As a result, her child nearly died of thirst. God saw her and opened her eyes to see a well of water.
Gen 21:10,15-19 “So she said to Abraham, ‘Cast out this slave woman and her son, for the son of this slave woman shall not be heir with my son Isaac.’ 15 When the water in the skin of the bottle was gone, she laid the boy under a bush. 16 She went and sat opposite him, about a bowshot away, for she said, ‘I cannot bear to see the boy die.’ And she sat opposite him, and lifted up her voice and wept. 17 And God heard the boy’s voice. And the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, ‘What is the matter, Hagar? Do not be afraid, for God has heard the boy’s voice where he is. 18 Arise, lift up the boy and hold him in your hand, for I will make of him a great nation. 19 And God opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water; and she went and filled the skin of the bottle with water and gave the boy a drink.”
My prayer for you: May God open your eyes to see opportunities that will meet the needs of your child or children.
3. God is a husband to widows or single mothers
The biggest challenges for single mothers are loneliness, helplessness, being burdened with family responsibilities, the pain of loss, etc.
The Word encourages us that God recognizes our challenges and promises to give us a new life of success.
Isa 54:1-6 “1 Sing, you barren, you who do not bear; break forth into singing, you who do not travail with child; for the children of the desolate are more numerous than the children of the married woman, says the Lord. 2 Enlarge the place of your tent, and stretch out the curtains of your dwelling; do not restrain them; lengthen your cords, strengthen the stakes of your tent. 3 For you will spread out to the right and to the left; and your descendants will possess the nations; they will make the desolate cities inhabited. 4 Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed; do not be dismayed, for you will not be disgraced; for you will forget the shame of your youth, and you will remember the reproach of your widowhood no more. 5 For your Maker is your husband; the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; the God of all the earth he will be called. 6 For the Lord has called you as a wife forsaken and grieved in spirit, as a wife in her time of trouble. of youth, when he is cast away, saith thy God.”
My prayer to you: May God give you great vision, lift you up, and deliver you from the traps and accusations you encounter.
4. God chose to use a single mother
When God wanted to meet the needs of his servant, He chose to use a poor widow. God left the married families and chose a widow.
1 Kings 17:8-14 “8 The word of the Lord came to him, saying, 9 Arise, go to Zarephath, which belongs to Sidon, and dwell there. Behold, I have commanded a widow there to sustain you. 10 So he arose and went to Zarephath; and when he came to the gate of the city, behold, a widow was there gathering sticks; and he called to her, and said, Bring me, I pray thee, a little water in a vessel, that I may drink. 11 And as he was going to fetch it, she called to him, and said, Bring me, I pray thee, a morsel of bread in thine hand. 12 And she said, As the Lord thy God liveth, I have not a bread, but an handful of meal in a barrel, and a little oil in a cruse: and I am gathering two sticks, that I may go in and dress it for myself and my son, that we may eat, and die. 13 And Elijah said unto her, Fear not; go and do as thou hast said: but make me a little cake first, and bring it unto me; and afterward make for thyself and thy son. 14 For thus saith the Lord God of Israel, Thus, The barrel of flour shall not waste, neither shall the cruse of oil fail, until the day that the Lord sendeth rain upon the earth.”
My prayer to you: May God use you, especially in difficult times, to be a blessing to His work and remember you in difficult times.
5. A widow had a great vision after the death of her husband
A wife often becomes so dependent on her husband that she cannot use her potential effectively. This situation is sometimes contributed to by the husband setting limits for her or by her own lack of self-awareness.
2 Kings 4:1-3 “1 Now a certain woman of the wives of the sons of the prophets cried out to Elisha, saying, Your servant my husband is dead; and you know that your servant feared the Lord; and he who came to him has come to take my two sons as slaves. 2 Elisha said to her, What shall I do for you? Tell me; what do you have in the house? And she said, I, your handmaid, have nothing in the house, except a cruse of oil. 3 And he said, Go, borrow vessels from all your neighbors, empty vessels; and do not ask for a few.”
My prayer for you: May God enable you to use all your power to change your life and that of your family.
BIBLIA INASEMA NINI KUHUSU WAMAMA WANAOISHI PEKE YAO?
Maswali tuliyojadili
1. Single mothers wana fursa gani?
Wana huru zaidi kufanya jambo lolote. Wanajipangia kazi zao wenyewe.
Wanapata muda wa kutosha kwa ajili ya kumtumikia Mungu.
2. Single mothers wana changamoto gani?
Baadhi yao wana uwezo mdogo wa kujisimamia
Kulemewa katika kulea watoto na majukumu ya kifamilia
Kukosa mtu wa kushauriana
Kupata vishawishi na kurubuniwa
Jamii kuwachukulia kama watu wenye matatizo
Kukosa mtu sahihi wa kumuoa hata kama anataka kuolewa
Kutoaminika katika taasisi za mikopo kwa vile hana mume wa kumdhamini.
Watoto wake kukataliwa baba wa kambo hata kama mwanzoni alikuwa tayari kuwalea
Kuficha kwamba ana watoto ili iwe rahisi kupata mwenzi wa kumuoa
Kuridhika kuishi peke yake na kuzaa watoto bila kuolewa kwa kutojua umuhimu wa ndoa
Kushinikizwa na wanawake mtaani kwamba aolewe au azae tu watoto hata kama hana mume wa kumuoa.
NENO LA MUNGU LINASEMA NINI KUHUSU ‘SINGLE MOTHERS?’
Zipo sababu mbalimbali zinazoweza kumfanya mama aishi peke yake kama vile kufiwa na mume, kutelekezwa, kurubuniwa, kutotambua thamani ya ndoa, nk. Hata hivyo mama anayeishi peke yake anaweza kunufaika na hali yake ya kuishi peke yake kama atamtegemea Mungu. Mafanikio ya maisha yetu yanategemea uchaguzi tunaoufanya. Kum 30:19 “Nazishuhudiza mbingu na nchi juu yenu hivi leo, kuwa nimekuwekea mbele yako uzima na mauti, baraka na laana; basi chagua uzima, ili uwe hai, wewe na uzao wako.” Sipendi kutafsirika kwamba nawakatisha tamaa wanandoa. Leo nazungumza na single mothers wajue kwamba Mungu bado anawatambua hata kama hawataolewa tena. Hata hivyo fursa ya kuolewa ikipatikana waitumie. Ili mradi awe mume sahihi ambaye yuko tayari pia kuwalea watoto aliowakuta na kutambua kwamba anaoa mke ambaye aliwahi kuishi maisha ya ndoa au kuwa na familia.
1. Mwanamke kuishi peke yake kuna uzuri wake
Mtume Paulo anasema kwamba kuna baraka za mtu kuishi peke yake bila kuolewa au kuoa ili mradi awe na uwezo wa kudhibiti tamaa zake. Wanandoa wanakutana changamoto katika utumishi wao kwa Mungu kwa vile wanawajibu mwingine katika ndoa. Ni vigumu kujitoa kikamilifu kwa Mungu (undivided attention). Lazima apate kibali kwa mumewe ndipo amtumikie Mungu.
1 Kor 7:8,9,32,33 “8 Lakini nawaambia wale wasiooa bado, na wajane, Ni heri wakae kama mimi nilivyo. 9 Lakini ikiwa hawawezi kujizuia, na waoe; maana ni afadhali kuoa kuliko kuwaka tamaa. 32 Lakini nataka msiwe na masumbufu. Yeye asiyeoa hujishughulisha na mambo ya Bwana, ampendezeje Bwana; 33 bali yeye aliyeoa hujishughulisha na mambo ya dunia hii, jinsi atakavyompendeza mkewe.”
Tunaona mfano wa Ana akitumika muda wote hekaluni kwa vile hakuwa na mume wa kumhudumia nyumbani.
Luka 2:36, 37 “Palikuwa na nabii mke, jina lake Ana, binti Fanueli, wa kabila ya Asheri, na umri wake ulikuwa miaka mingi, alikuwa amekaa na mume miaka saba baada ya uanawali wake. Naye ni mjane wa miaka themanini na minne; haondoki katika hekalu, ila huabudu usiku na mchana kwa kufunga na kuomba.”
Maombi yangu kwako: Mungu akuwezeshe kumpendeza Bwana na kutoa muda wako kwa ajili ya kumtumikia bila kuchoka.
2. Mungu anajali wanawake wanaoishi peke yao (single mothers) na watoto wao – Mf. Hajiri
Hajiri alilazimika kukimbilia jangwani pale Sara alipomwambia Ibrahimu amfukuze. Matokeo yake mtoto wake alikaribia kufa kwa kiu. Mungu alimuona na kumfungua macho ili aone kisima cha maji.
Mwa 21:10,15-19 “Kwa hiyo akamwambia Ibrahimu, Mfukuze mjakazi huyu na mwanawe, maana mwana wa mjakazi hatarithi pamoja na mwanangu, Isaka.15 Yale maji yakaisha katika kiriba, akamlaza kijana chini ya kijiti kimoja. 16 Akaenda akakaa akimkabili, mbali naye kadiri ya mtupo wa mshale; maana alisema, Nisimwone kijana akifa; naye akakaa akimkabili, akapaza sauti yake, akalia. 17 Mungu akasikia sauti ya kijana. Malaika wa Mungu akamwita Hajiri kutoka mbinguni, akamwambia, Una nini, Hajiri? Usiogope, maana Mungu amesikia sauti ya kijana huko aliko. 18 Ondoka, ukamwinue kijana, ukamshike mkononi mwako, kwa kuwa nitamfanya kuwa taifa kubwa. 19 Mungu akamfumbua macho, naye akaona kisima cha maji; akaenda akakijaza kiriba maji, akamnywesha kijana.”
Maombi yangu kwako: Mungu akufungue macho uone fursa ambazo zitajibu mahitaji ya mtoto au watoto wako.
3. Mungu ni mume wa wajane au wamama wanaoishi peke yao (single mothers)
Changamoto kubwa za wamama wanaoishi peke yao ni upweke (loneliness), kukosa msaada (helplessness), kulemewa na majukumu ya kifamilia, maumivu ya kupoteza mume (pain of loss) nk.
Neno linatutia moyo kwamba Mungu anatambua changamoto zetu na anaahidi kutupa maisha mapya ya mafanikio
Isa 54:1-6 “1 Imba, wewe uliye tasa, wewe usiyezaa; paza sauti yako kwa kuimba, piga kelele, wewe usiyekuwa na utungu; maana watoto wake aliyeachwa ni wengi kuliko watoto wake yeye aliyeolewa, asema Bwana. 2 Panua mahali pa hema yako, na wayatandaze mapazia ya maskani yako; usiwakataze; ongeza urefu wa kamba zako; vikaze vigingi vya hema yako. 3 Kwa maana utaenea upande wa kuume na upande wa kushoto; na wazao wako watawamiliki mataifa; wataifanya miji iliyokuwa ukiwa kukaliwa na watu. 4 Usiogope; maana hutatahayarika; wala usifadhaike; maana hutaaibishwa; kwa kuwa utaisahau aibu ya ujana wako, pia mashutumu ya ujane wako hutayakumbuka tena. 5 Kwa sababu Muumba wako ni mume wako; Bwana wa majeshi ndilo jina lake; na Mtakatifu wa Israeli ndiye Mkombozi wako; Yeye ataitwa Mungu wa dunia yote. 6 Maana Bwana amekuita kama mke aliyeachwa na kuhuzunishwa rohoni, kama mke wakati wa ujana, atupwapo, asema Mungu wako.”
Maombi yangu kwako: Mungu akupe maono makubwa, akuinue na akutoe katika mitego na shutuma unazozipata.
4. Mungu alichagua kumtumia mama anayeishi peke yake (single mother)
Mungu alipotaka kutimiza mahitaji ya mtumishi wake alichagua kumtumia mjane maskini. Mungu aliacha familia zenye mume na mke akachagua mwanamke mjane.
1 Fal 17:8-14 “ 8 Neno la Bwana likamjia, kusema, 9 Ondoka, uende Sarepta, ulio mji wa Sidoni, ukae huko. Tazama, nimemwagiza mwanamke mjane wa huko akulishe. 10 Basi, akaondoka, akaenda Sarepta; hata alipofika langoni pa mji, kumbe! Mwanamke mjane alikuwako akiokota kuni; akamwita, akamwambia, Niletee, nakuomba, maji kidogo chomboni nipate kunywa. 11 Alipokuwa akienda kuleta, akamwita akasema, Niletee, nakuomba, kipande cha mkate mkononi mwako. 12 Naye akasema, Kama Bwana, Mungu wako, aishivyo, sina mkate, ila konzi ya unga katika pipa, na mafuta kidogo katika chupa; nami ninaokota kuni mbili ili niingie nijipikie nafsi yangu na mwanangu, tuule tukafe. 13 Eliya akamwambia, Usiogope; enenda ukafanye kama ulivyosema; lakini unifanyie kwanza mkate mdogo ukaniletee; kisha ujifanyie nafsi yako na mwanao. 14 Kwa kuwa Bwana, Mungu wa Israeli, asema hivi, Lile pipa la unga halitapunguka, wala ile chupa ya mafuta haitaisha, hata siku ile Bwana atakapoleta mvua juu ya nchi.”
Maombi yangu kwako: Mungu akutumie kipekee katika vipindi vigumu kuwa baraka kwa kazi yake na kukukumbuka katika nyakati ngumu.
5. Mjane alipata maono makubwa baada ya kufiwa na mumewe
Mara nyingi mke anakuwa tegemezi kwa mumewe kiasi kwamba hatumii uwezo wake kwa kiwango kikubwa. Hali hii wakati mwingine inachangiwa na mume kumuwekea mipaka au yeye mwenyewe kutojitambua.
2 Fal 4:1-3 “1 Basi, mwanamke mmoja miongoni mwa wake za wana wa manabii alimlilia Elisha, akasema, Mtumishi wako mume wangu amekufa; nawe unajua ya kuwa mtumishi wako alikuwa mcha Bwana; na aliyemwia amekuja ili ajitwalie wana wangu wawili kuwa watumwa. 2 Elisha akamwambia, Nikufanyie nini? Niambie; una kitu gani nyumbani? Akasema, Mimi mjakazi wako sina kitu nyumbani, ila chupa ya mafuta. 3 Akasema, Nenda, ukatake vyombo huko nje kwa jirani zako wote, vyombo vitupu; wala usitake vichache.”
Maombi yangu kwako: Mungu akuwezeshe kutumia uwezo wako wote kwa ajili ya kubadilisha maisha yako na ya familia yako.
Dr Lawi Mshana, +255-712924234, Tanzania
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