Video link: Usimwaibishe mumeo/mkeo wala mtoto wako
Do not embarrass your husband/wife or your child
(Usimwaibishe mumeo/mkeo wala mtoto wako)
Try to be a role model. Do not tell children to do something that you have failed at. Children do not learn by words but by actions. A child remembers more by imitating the father and mother than the words they speak. So it is not wise for a couple to argue and scold each other in front of the children. This is possible if the marriage has rules. My wife and I set a rule for ourselves that there is no arguing in front of the children or strangers. When you criticize your wife in front of strangers about the food being undercooked, you are destroying her morale. It is also not appropriate to discipline an older child in front of his younger ones sometimes. Although you are helping him, you are also embarrassing him. You are taking away his respect. So, it is advisable at times to tell his younger ones to leave so that you can talk to their brother or sister.
Usimwaibishe mumeo/mkeo wala mtoto wako
Jitahidi kuwa mfano wa kuigwa. Usipende kuwaambia watoto wafanye kitu ambacho wewe mwenyewe kimekushinda. Watoto hawajifunzi kwa maneno bali kwa matendo. Mtoto anakumbuka zaidi kumuiga baba yake na mama yake kuliko maneno wanayomuambia. Hivyo sio busara kwa wanandoa kuonyana na kukemeana mbele za watoto. Hili linawezekana kama ndoa ina kanuni. Mimi na mke wangu tulijiwekea kanuni kwamba hakuna kuonyana mbele za watoto wala wageni. Unapomkosoa mke wako mbele ya wageni kuhusu chakula kwamba hakijaiva, unaharibu morali yake. Pia haifai kumuadabisha mtoto mkubwa mbele za wadogo zake, kwa baadhi ya mambo. Ingawa unamsaidia, wakati huohuo unamuaibisha. Unaiondoa heshima yake. Hivyo inafaa wakati fulani uwaambie wadogo zake waondoke ili uongee na kaka yao au dada yao.
Dr Lawi Mshana, Facilitator and Mentor, +255712924234, Korogwe, Tanga, Tanzania
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