Video link:SABABU ZA UGUMU WA KUPATA MWENZI SAHIHI WA MAISHA
REASONS FOR THE DIFFICULTY OF FINDING THE RIGHT LIFE PARTNER
(SABABU ZA UGUMU WA KUPATA MWENZI SAHIHI WA MAISHA)
1. Parents regard marriage as an economic investment. - ​​Some parents demand a very high dowry that young people cannot afford, and some parents care more about the income of the fiancée than the relationship.
2. Young people do not prepare in advance—God gave Adam a garden before giving him a wife. A young person should not necessarily be rich before getting married, but it is not wise for a young person to have an expensive smartphone when he does not have a chair or a stool and still live with his parents. A young person should be willing to do any work as long as it is legal.
3. Not involving parents before starting a relationship – A young person needs the blessings of his parents from the moment he starts looking for a partner. It is not wise to wait until he sees the right choice. Some do not seek advice from their parents but only go to inform them about their choice.
4. Lack of guidance about the right partner – A young person needs to know their shortcomings and the partner they need to fill that gap. He should have criteria before they meet so that he is not tempted or seduced.
5. Failure to manage the vision – Young people should manage the vision of the partner they need. They should not allow themselves to be blinded by certain characteristics and ignore the absence of other important qualities. Even if she/he is not the one, someone more suitable will be found.
6. Waiting or looking for in the wrong place – Not every life partner may be found in the same church. What is important is finding a God-fearing person. They must broaden their horizons by participating in conferences, seminars, and youth camps.
7. Having a bad testimony or reputation – No one will date a girl or be engaged to a boy without doing any research. Therefore, they need to have a good image in society so that the engagement does not break down whenever flaws are discovered.
SABABU ZA UGUMU WA KUPATA MWENZI SAHIHI WA MAISHA
1. Wazazi kuona ndoa ni mtaji wa kiuchumi – Kuna wazazi wanadai mahari kubwa sana ambayo vijana wanashindwa kuilipa, pia wapo wazazi wanaojali kipato cha mchumba kuliko mahusiano.
2. Vijana kutojiandaa mapema – Mungu alimpa Adamu bustani kabla ya kumpa mke. Sina maana kwamba kijana anatakiwa kuwa tajiri ndipo aoe. Lakini sio busara kijana kuwa na simu ya thamani kubwa wakati hana kiti wala stuli na bado anakaa na wazazi. Kijana asichague kazi ili mradi iwe kazi ya halali.
3. Kutoshirikisha wazazi kabla ya kuanzisha mahusiano – Kijana anahitaji baraka za wazazi tangu anapoanza kutafuta mwenzi. Sio busara kusubiri mpaka akiona anayemfaa ndipo awaone wazazi. Wengine hawatafuta ushauri wa wazazi bali wanaenda tu kuwapa taarifa.
4. Kutokuwa na mwongozo kuhusu mwenzi sahihi – Kijana anatakiwa kujua upungufu wake na mwenzi anayemuhitaji kwa ajili ya kuziba pengo hilo. Anatakiwa kuwa na vigezo kabla hajamuona ili asishawishike wala kurubuniwa.
5. Kushindwa kusimamia maono – Kijana anatakiwa kusimamia maono ya mwenzi anayemuhitaji. Asikubali kupofushwa macho na tabia fulani na kupuuza zingine ambazo hazioni kwake. Hata kama sio huyo atapatikana mwingine anayefaa zaidi.
6. Kungojea au kutafuta mahali ambapo sio sahihi – Sio lazima mwenzi wa maisha apatikane katika kanisa hilohilo ili mradi awe mcha Mungu. Lazima kupanua wigo kwa kushiriki makongamano, semina na kambi za vijana.
7. Kuwa na ushuhuda mbaya – Hakuna mtu atachumbia msichana au kuchumbiwa na mvulana asifanye utafiti wowote. Hivyo ni muhimu kuwa na image nzuri katika jamii ili uchumba usivunjike kila kasoro zinapogundulika.
Dr. Lawi Mshana, Workshop Facilitator, +255712924234, Tanzania
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